Overthinking

I always thought I had this eerie, ominous ability to ñredict my future.

Maybe all I did was declare it from the root of my fears and insecurities.

At the very least, despite eit all, God seems to have mercy on me and gave me a great partner, which I am more than grateful for.

In all his human essence, all his imperfections may sometimes provoke my discomfort, sometimes my anger, my despair or not meet my expectations. But I've never once stopped loving him, cherishing for who he is in his entirety.

I am blessed indeed, for such a wonderful companion, for as long as he chooses to walk by mi side and keep me by his.

I may not be prone to feel safe and protected, I've felt pretty much abandoned my whole life, even if by a thread I've kept vital support in a manner that has been as consistent as it could.

But when I take his hand I do feel welcome, at the very least.

I have a tendency to overthink things, to get myself ready for the worst possible outcome, to commit myself to anything I get to choose, to it's ultimate consequences, be it a rational or an emotional decision (I try to stay away from the latter, as they are foolish, chaotic and tend to destroy everything around me). 

But overthinking simply paralyses me and gets me nowhere.

It has prevented me from many experiences in life.

And I do not want to overthink anymore, at least not on the important decisions in my life.

I want to face life and it's blessings head on, willing and certain. And at least I think I have earned s bit of certainty over the years... Some peace of mind, honestly. And some peace of heart, to bloom and blossom and to dare to be happy. If for once in my life...